


The Moon and the Sun go Spinning

by shrimpheavenwow



Category: Polygon/McElroy Vlogs & Podcasts RPF
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Mutual Pining, Road Trip kinda, Sharing a Bed, Stargazing, it's just. cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-10
Updated: 2019-05-10
Packaged: 2020-02-29 14:26:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18780109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shrimpheavenwow/pseuds/shrimpheavenwow
Summary: Pat isn’t romantic, he isn’t spontaneous, and frankly, he doesn’t know how to be. But something about Brian makes him want to try. If anything, it’ll be an adventure.AKA Pat is head over heels and Brian wants to go stargazing





	The Moon and the Sun go Spinning

**Author's Note:**

> Wanted to write something quick and cute so here y'all go. Unbeta'd so please forgive any mistakes lol
> 
> Title from [Once and Future Carpenter](https://youtu.be/AVnnxh6wV90/) by The Avett Brothers

It starts with Brian saying he misses seeing the stars.

They’re both heading to the subway to go home after work, strolling in that way you do when you’re with someone you don’t necessarily want to leave. It’s been getting warmer lately, not quite hot yet, but the kind of heat that sticks around past sunset and lingers through evening. Pat’s hands are tucked in his pockets as he walks, keeping easy pace with Brian next to him.

He and Brian are complicated. They aren’t together by a long shot, but they’re certainly becoming more than friends, maybe even more than best friends, dancing on the precipice of  _ something _ . They’ve never had sex or kissed or even held hands, (well, they held hands once but it was because Brian forgot his gloves when they were going to lunch and it was the middle of January and it wasn’t like Pat could just let him freeze). Pat doesn’t know what Brian wants to be, doesn’t know exactly how Brian feels. All he knows is that it confuses the hell out of him.

He stuck between what he wants to do and what he should do. He knows Brian well enough that he can tell there’s something between them, enough of a something that Brian wouldn’t necessarily reject his advances; but even so, there’s that shred of doubt that lies under everything, the idea that maybe Brian doesn’t want to be anything serious, anything long term. 

The thought scares Pat. Not knowing anything for certain scares Pat. He tries not to think about it too hard. Instead he focuses on the night air, on sharing Brian’s company.

Tonight, their walk is mostly silent. There’s no stress to fill the gaps between words, it’s just one of those nights where being with each other is enough. Brian pulls off a little on the sidewalk, stopping so abruptly that Pat almost runs straight into him. The sidewalk isn’t empty, nowhere in New York ever is, but it’s vacant enough that they can get away with standing on the street corner and not be in anyone’s way. 

Brian’s head is tilted up, staring up at something Pat isn’t aware of. He glances up too, trying to see what Brian’s searching for but falls short. He tilts his head back down, giving Brian a confused look.

“What’re you staring at?” He asks.

Brian’s silent for a beat longer before he sighs and drops his head back down to look at Pat. He shrugs, disappointed.

“Nothing. I just miss being able to see the stars, I guess.”

He starts walking again, back in the direction of the subway. It takes Pat a second to follow him, a plan already forming in his mind, which is kind of out of the ordinary for him.

Because the thing is, Pat isn’t a romantic. He’s quieter with his affection, more subtle. But something about Brian makes him want to shout from rooftops, to kiss him in the rain, to run away in the middle of the night. He sparks every romantic nerve in Pat’s body. If he grabbed his hand and took off running, Pat wouldn’t even hesitate to follow. Everything about Brian goes against his nature, but for some reason he doesn’t care. Brian could flip every mannerism Pat has on its head and he wouldn’t mind in the slightest. 

Which is why he asks Brian if he’s busy next weekend, and, since he isn’t, to keep it open. 

Pat stops by his desk that Friday, near the end of the day.

“Hey,” he says, grabbing Brian’s attention. He looks up from his computer, giving him a smile.

“Hey.”

Instead of looking at him, Pat plays with a stress ball from Brian’s desk. “Did you keep this weekend open?” Brian nods.

“Yeah, what do you want to do?” Pat chances a glance at Brian’s face, steeling himself to ask because he has it all planned out, and if Brian says no then he put a lot of work in for nothing.

“Want to go stargazing?”

Brian’s eyes go wide, first shock and then in excitement, as a smile breaks over his face. 

“Really? Like, this weekend?”

Pat shrugs like doesn’t matter, except that it definitely does. “Sure, why not?”

Brian grins. “Yeah, of course I want to go stargazing. Where would we go?”

“Upstate somewhere. I actually, uh,” Pat stumbles, wanting to maintain the facade that this is impromptu while also wanting to tell Brian the whole plan. “I already booked us a hotel so we don’t have to drive back that night or sleep in the car or anything. I mean, because it’s more of a night trip than a day trip.” Brian’s expression doesn’t change, which relieves Pat a little. At least he isn’t too concerned with how truly spontaneous it is.

“Nice, sounds good!” He says with a bright smile and suddenly Pat feels a whole lot better about the whole thing, like nothing could possibly go wrong. 

Because this is more to Pat than just a weekend away with his best friend. He’s tired of not knowing, of playing a game of maybes.  _ Maybe  _ Brian feels the same, and  _ maybe  _ they could be together, and  _ maybe _ it will all work out, but he can’t be sure of any of it. He wants to be with Brian and that he knows for certain.

So Pat’s going to take him stargazing and tell him how he feels, because he’s tired of this. It doesn’t matter what the answer is, he just knows that he needs to hear it. He needs to know where they stand, needs things to make sense again.

They solidify their plans quickly, eager to finish their work and head home. They leave tomorrow, and Pat can’t decide if that makes him more excited or more anxious. He doesn’t figure it out by the time he gets home and certainly not by the time he gets to sleep. It doesn’t matter, he’s following through with this if it kill him.

++++++++++

He picks Brian up fairly early the next afternoon. Where they’re heading isn’t too far away and the days have been getting longer so there’s plenty of time till sundown. Brian hops into his car, jorts and all, tossing his bag into the back seat.

“Hey,” he says, slightly out of breath, like he ran down the apartment building’s stairs. He seems restless, anxious to get to where they’re going, like it’s some kind of adventure. Pat smiles but doesn’t comment, because he kind of feels the same way. Everything is an adventure with Brian.

“All set?” Pat asks. Brian nods. “Cool. You have the aux,” he says, passing Brian the cord and pulling away from the curb. He starts heading out of the city as the music begins to play, something upbeat and happy which is pretty much what Pat expected from Brian.

They talk for a bit. Not about anything important, just whatever comes up. It’s chatter really, a way to get their energy out since they can’t move around. Sometimes Brian stops talking mid sentence to sing along to the song playing, reaching for notes he can’t quite hit but will certainly try for. Sometimes he forgets what they were talking about when he stops singing but more often than not he just jumps back in where he left off. It’s cute and charming enough to keep Pat smiling so hard his cheeks hurt, laughing so much that he’s practically wheezing. The constant sound also helps Pat forget about what he promised himself he was going to do on this trip. 

Eventually the mood becomes a lot calmer, more relaxed. Brian’s music shifts into something slower, softer. Gradually the conversation dips into a significant lull, giving way to the steadiness of the beat. It’s quiet, a nice, subdued kind of quiet that should be soothing except that it gives Pat far too much time alone with his thoughts. It makes him restless, only reminding him more of how much he needs a distraction.

“Did you go stargazing a lot back in Maryland?” he asks, trying to start the conversation back up. Brian thinks for a second, staring out the car window.

“Not super often. The view wasn’t awful at my house but it could have been better. We weren’t in the heart of the city or anything but we had our fair share of Baltimore light pollution. Usually I’d have to drive a little ways away before I could really get a good spot.”

“How far?”

Brian cracks a smile. “Depends how on good of a view you wanted. If you go east and cross the bay then you have a lot of flat land to look from which is nice. Out there it’s all sky.” He pauses for a moment, eyes still fixed on the world outside, thinking. “One time I went camping with some friends in western Maryland, which is more of a drive but it’s not that far. I saw the Milky Way from up on a mountain. It was pretty faint but… I saw it.” He doesn’t elaborate, stuck in the memory.

The drive lapses back into its previous silence, but this time, Pat lets it be. He lets himself dwell on the image of Brian sitting on a outlook somewhere in the woods, leaning back on his hands as he stares at the sky. The Brian in his head swings his feet over the edge, contemplative, quiet, staring out at the vast expanse of sky and taking in how small he is. 

Their peaceful silence doesn’t last for long. The music changes to some 80s song that Brian starts singing and slowly gets more and more into until he’s belting the chorus. He dances, little moves that would probably be more impressive if he wasn’t confined to a seat and his movement significantly limited by a seat belt. Pat grins, laughing harder than he knew he could and suddenly everything is fun again. His energy is back up, and even though he’s anxious for everything to go well, he doesn’t care as much right now. All that matters is that Brian is singing into his ear and that they have a bit before they have to stop and everything is fine. Everything is fantastic.

It’s a while before they talk again, or, before they talk about anything important. Brian sings for a while but even that tapers off. They fall into an easy silence, the kind that usually settles in during long car rides. They’re heading into true country by the time Pat speaks again, nearly to their destination.

He clears his throat a little, causing Brian to look over at him. Pat doesn’t speak immediately, not quite certain how to bring this up. He rubs the back of his neck with one hand as he drives, not risking a glance over at Brian, eyes set on the road.

“So um, it was actually a lot cheaper to just rent a room with one bed, especially because it was kind of impromptu, and I really just wanted to, uh, to make sure we got a room, so I hope it’s alright that we’d be sharing...” he trails off. He knows he sounds awkward but he can’t help it, he’s so scared of seeming too forward, too obvious about how he feels. “I mean, if it makes you uncomfortable then there’s always a bathtub I can sleep in,” he tacks on, a little too stiff to fully be a joke. Thankfully Brian seems to understand, nodding his head and beginning to talk without acknowledging Pat’s awkwardness.

“No, yeah, of course it’s fine. I fall asleep on your shoulder sometimes after streams, Pat. I think can handle sleeping next to you,” he teases, though Pat can hear the undercurrent of tension in his words, can tell when Brian is projecting a bit too much confidence and indifference to be purely genuine.

The single bed genuinely hadn’t been part of the plan to tell Brian how he felt. It was just something he booked and then realized later might be too much, like he had done it in the hopes that he’d end up sleeping with Brian in a different sort of way, which he really hadn’t been. It was an oversight that he hadn’t had enough time or money to spare to fix, and yet, he still manages to be relieved by the conversation. If anything, Pat’s just glad that he doesn’t have to tell Brian when they get there, or worse yet, have it just be a surprise. 

When they get into town, they check into their hotel and drop their stuff before heading in search of dinner. There are a few places nearby that aren’t fast food chains, and as hungry as Pat is, he’s willing to wait long enough to have a real meal. Brian seems to share the sentiment.

They end up finding a diner near the edge of town. It’s mostly empty, which is a little odd, but it seems nice and clean and smells good enough that they’re willing to risk it. They order quickly and their food arrives soon after.

And overall dinner is… nice. Not that Pat didn’t think eating with Brian was going to go okay, he just figured it would be more outwardly entertaining, loud and over the top like Brian can be. It’s not though. It’s full of comfortable silences and lingering gazes and an atmosphere that’s sentimental, just a touch overly fond. The lighting is dimmer than normal and it makes everything slightly hazier, just that much more unreal. It’s enough to almost convince Pat that the consequences don’t matter.

Everything seems to be slipping into territory that Pat brought them there to define, falling into place so easily that all he has to do is say something. His eyes shift down to the table, at the space between his hand and Brian’s. It would be so easy to just reach out a little farther and take it, so simple and natural that Brian probably wouldn’t think twice about it. When Pat looks up again, a strand of Brian’s hair has fallen in his face as he chuckles and something Pat said and suddenly he’s overcome with the need for Brian to  _ know _ . He takes a deep breath, his hands curling into little fists as he braces himself to confess. He opens his mouth.

“Hey Bria-”

“How is everything over here? You folks doing alright?” Their waiter interrupts. Pat flushes, embarrassed even though he doesn’t have any reason to be. 

“Everything’s great, thank you,” Brian responds. 

“Okay, well let me know if you need anything,” he says. Pat clears his throat.

“Could we actually have the check please?” He asks, trying to regain some of his cool. The waiter nods.

“I’ll be right back,” he says before walking away. Brian turns back to Pat.

“What were you saying?” He asks, and Pat’s flustered all over again.

“I was, uh, just going to make sure you were done so I could, um, ask for the check. It’s- the sun is going to set soon so, I figured we should start looking for, like, a hill or something,” Pat stammers. Brian raises an eyebrow a little but doesn’t call out his obvious lie. The atmosphere that they’d created between them is gone and so is the opportunity Pat had to say something. Pat shakes the thought out of his mind. He still has plenty of chances to tell Brian, the night isn’t over yet. 

Brian snorts out a laugh, shaking his head with a smile. The waiter comes back with their check and Pat takes it. 

“Oh, they put us on the same bill,” Brian frowns, pausing as he takes out his wallet. Pat waves him off. 

“Don’t worry, I can pay for you.” Brian scoffs.

“Pat, it’s fine, I can pay for my own dinner,” he says, leaning across the table to try and grab the check from Pat’s hands. He pulls it backwards, out of Brian’s reach. “Hey, come on,” he protests. 

“I’m not letting you pay,” Pat laughs. Brian drops back down into his seat with an exaggerated pout.

“At least tell me how much it is so I can pay you back,” he says. Pat shakes his head. 

“Nope,” he responds. “It’s on me.” The waiter passes by them again and Pat hands it to him, far out of Brian’s reach.

“What a gentleman,” Brian says sarcastically. Pat shrugs, trying to ignore the blush threatening to creep up his neck at the words. 

“I try.”

They head out soon after that, just as the sun is beginning its slow descent through the lower half of the sky. It will likely be nightfall within the next hour or two. They drive around for a while, looking for a place suitable for stargazing. It’s not hard to find an unoccupied hill given that they’re practically in the middle of nowhere. 

They pull off the main street to head down a barely paved back road scattered with enough gravel and potholes for a fairly bumpy ride. It’s worth it though, if only for the fact that clearly no one goes down that way, and they’ll be in nearly complete solitude until they decide to head back to the hotel. 

They end up at a little bit of an elevation, enough that they can look out and see the land stretching outwards and onwards, seemingly forever. Their town is off in the distance, lights just starting to come on, but it’s not enough to really make an impact on their view of the sky. Pat pulls over into the grass so his car is oriented in the direction of the view. He turns his headlights off but leaves the car running, pulling a stack of cd’s out from the pocket in his car door. He hears Brian chuckle next to him and smiles, just a little.

“You still listen to cd’s?” Brian asks with a grin. 

Pat shrugs “Not all the time, but I like having something physical for albums I really like. Why, are you judging me for being an old man?” he jokes.

Brian laughs and playfully smacks Pat’s arm. “Stop,” he says, smiling.

The sun is starting to dip below the horizon, bathing them in muted light. Pat pops a cd into the player, waiting for the sound to pour out through his speakers. Brian gives him an amused look when it starts, calm and steady and soothing.

“Death Cab? Really?” he asks. Pat just shrugs again instead of telling him that it’s not music he usually listens it. He only has it because it reminds him of Brian. “You okay?” he asks at Pat’s silence.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Pat answers honestly. He’s feeling a bit calmer, less in the mood for talking and more just wanting to have this moment with Brian, especially if what he says later is going to ruin whatever they are. He wants to savor it while he can.

He rolls down the windows and steps out of the car. Brian follows. 

Pat leans against the front of the car, arms crossed, while Brian ops to sit on the hood. They stay like that for a long while, quiet, listening to the music and waiting for the sun to go down. The song playing from Pat’s car is low and soft and far away. 

Pat glances over at Brian, who’s sitting cross-legged, scrolling through his phone while they wait. He’s lit by the glow of the sun, silhouetted by a golden hour sky which molds itself to his features so he looks that much softer. Pat feels the same swelling in his chest as back in the restaurant, a desperate urge to tell him, to find out exactly how Brian feels about him in return.

He takes a deep breath and pushes off from the car, moving to stand in front of Brian. He extends a hand in a way that he hopes comes across as confident and endearing, rather than anxious and uneasy like he feels inside. There are butterflies making rounds between his stomach and his throat but he pushes past it. He has to do this. He sways lazily to the music trying to coax Brian into moving, or into laughing at the very least.

“Dance with me,” Pat says, his voice a lot more steady than he thought it would be.

Brian raises an eyebrow, giving him an amused smile. “You sure you’re okay?”

Pat shrugs, and it’s the honest answer. It doesn’t matter though, because Brian is sliding off the hood and taking his hand. He guides Brian so their hands are loosely holding each other’s, Pat’s other hand on Brian’s waist and Brian’s on Pat’s shoulder. Brian looks down at his feet, his cheeks red and warm, a contented smile on his face as they start to move, less than a foot apart.

They sway for a second to the music until Brian moves closer, a bit hesitant at first but then committing to the action, tucking his head into the crook of Pat’s neck. Pat can feel breath against his neck, slow, steady. He’s sure if Brian listened close enough he could hear Pat’s heart trying to beat its way out of his chest. 

The sun slips lower, dimming their light all that much more. It’s practically twilight at this point.  They stay quiet for a bit, just dancing to the easy rhythm of the music.

“Pat?” Brian asks, the question half murmured into Pat’s collarbone. He hums in response. Brian hesitates. “How do you feel about me?” he asks, and isn’t that’s just like Brian to always beat him to the punch. Pat sucks in a breath. 

“Can’t you guess?” He breathes, which would definitely have sounded a lot more smooth if his voice hadn’t shook, just the slightest bit. Brian is silent for a moment. Pat takes the opportunity to pull away a little so he can look him in the eyes. Brian looks back at him.

“I love you,” Brian blurts out, taking him aback. Pat huffs out a startled laugh, biting his lip.

He knows he should say it back, hell, he  _ wants _ to say it back. He wishes he was as sure of it as Brian is, wishes he knew for certain that he really did love him. But the truth is, he doesn’t know. He doesn’t know if he’s there yet, and as deeply as he cares about Brian, he can’t bring himself to say something he isn’t absolutely certain is true. He won’t lie to him. He can’t.

Pat ducks his head. “I’m sorry,” he says instead. Brian is quick to try and reassure him.

“It’s okay! you don’t have to say it back, I understand-”

“No, Brian, I’m sorry,” Pat interrupts. He backs away a foot, laughing in a way that’s a touch bitter. “I tried so hard to make this perfect and I’m the one who fucks it all up.”

He’s struck with the irony of it, of coming out here to know how Brian feels and not even knowing how he feels himself. It’s like he’s cursed to disorder, to disarray.

Brian takes a step towards him, anxious. “You didn’t fuck it up! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to spring that on you, I shouldn’t have-”

“No, don’t apologize, it’s fine, I just-” Pat cuts himself off with a sigh. “Brian, you deserve someone who’s young and spontaneous and funny and not so much of a mess. You deserve someone who can say I love you back.”

Brian steps closer, reaching a hand up to Pat’s cheek. He looks into his eyes with a determined intensity that Pat has seen before, but never directed at him. He has to resist the urge to squirm under his gaze.

“I don't want that person,” Brian says very seriously. “I want you, just as you are. Exactly the man I fell in love with.”

Pat’s chest fills with sudden warmth that spreads through him, even managing to calm his raging anxiety. He takes Brian’s hand in his, kisses it, and presses it flat against his chest, right over his heart. He smiles, soft and fond and comfortable. 

“Even if I don’t love you now, I’m certainly getting there,” he says, and that’s all it takes for Brian to pull him into a kiss.

It’s just a peck really, quick and harmless. He tries to back away but Pat grabs his shirt collar and yanks him forward, kissing him harder, desperately, the way he’s wanted to for so long. Brian melts into it, the whole of his body pressed flush against Pat’s, using him for support. 

They break away panting, Pat still holding Brian by the shirt collar, still in each other’s space. Brian kisses him again, and again, short presses of their lips together. He shifts farther backwards to start peppering Pat’s face with featherlight kisses. Pat laughs, tilting his head back, so full of joy that it makes it hard to breathe. Brian takes the opportunity to attack his neck, something that would probably be a lot more sensual if Brian could stop giggling, and if it didn’t tickle so much. 

They sit on the grass for a while, sometimes talking, sometimes not. Pat has his arm around Brian, supporting pretty much Brian’s full weight as he lays against him. 

The stars are beautiful. Brian’s head is constantly directed upwards, almost certainly going to give him some neck pain tomorrow but it doesn’t matter. He stares at the stars with a profound sense of awe, tracing their patterns with his eyes, darting back and forth across the sky. Pat looks at the stars, sure, but mostly he watches Brian.

Brian, whose lips are parted just slightly as he sighs astonishment, in reverence. Brian, whose hand grips Pat’s so naturally it feels like they’ve been holding them forever. Brian, who loves the stars and who loves Pat just as much. 

The universe usually make Pat feels small, insignificant. It’s a feeling that he usually avoids because it triggers a long forgotten sense of worthlessness from when he was younger and more insecure. But sitting here with Brian, looking up at the cosmos, Pat’s never felt more real, more meaningful. He has Brian, and suddenly everything isn’t as scary anymore.

They stay until the day’s warmth has long worn off and the night’s chill is starting to really set in. Pat helps Brian to his feet after the first time he shivers against him.

“Come on,” he yawns, wrapping an arm around Brian’s waist. “Let’s go to sleep.”

The ride back is quiet, the radio turned almost all the way down, Brian dozing in the passenger seat. It’s nice out in the country, quiet. He loves New York, but he misses the calm that settles in on a quiet rural road at night. It almost feels unreal.

When they get into bed that night, Brian doesn’t hesitate to curl up in Pat’s arms. It’s the kind of comfortability that Pat had only dreamed of having with him. Brian traces lazy patterns into Pat’s chest, chuckling.

“Your heart’s going a mile a minute, you know that?” He laughs. Pat smiles.

“Yeah, I’m just... happy,” he laughs, raising a hand up to thread through Brian’s hair. “You do that to me.”

“Yeah?” Brian asks, grinning up at him.

“Yeah.”

Brian raises his head to place a lingering kiss on Pat’s lips before tucking his head into his chest.

“Goodnight,” he says.

“Goodnight,” Pat answers. 

He sleeps and dreams that he’s in the Milky Way, Brian floating beside him. They’re weightless, happy, infinite. He dreams of stars in Brian’s eyes, of beauty beyond compare, of colors he’s never even imagined. He dreams, and Brian is always there, right beside him, endless, and eternal.

**Author's Note:**

> [This](https://youtu.be/NDHY1D0tKRA) is the song they're dancing to if you're wondering. Hope you liked it! Comments and kudos give me life so feel free to leave some, I'd appreciate it!
> 
> Hmu on tumblr @ gunraveled


End file.
